Have you ever noticed how two people can have the same experience, but their reactions to it could be described as ‘calm, cool and collected’ vs ‘the fire pits of hell appear to have opened up’.
Have you noticed on the days you are smiling and feeling great, the world seems to reflect this back to you? You have interesting conversations with random strangers, you are in awe of the way the sun shines through the leaves, but other days all the salespeople seem to have an attitude and don’t even get me started on that receptionist!.
Our interpretation of situations creates our life – and that interpretation is going to determine how content we are. It can be so hard to recognise and accept that our internal attitudes are contributing to the challenges we face….. so hard…. like, there is no way that perhaps you were being the giant doosh in that situation?! Repeatedly….for years.
What are the top 3 ways of knowing you’re ready (or it’s just time) to improve your mindset?
And how exactly do you do that?
1. Getting a little obsessed with things you can’t control.
Are you having the same thoughts, conversations (or perhaps others may call it moaning) about the same thing.
A very wise woman (my Mum) once said, to a slightly moaning, but still loveable man (my Dad) – if you don’t care enough to actually do something about it, stop talking about it. I fricken LOVE this.
Just ask yourself, does everyone need to know what makes me angry? Are you going to sit down with, or give a wide berth to the old negative guy at the pub (let’s call him Dave)? Dave, who like a spider with a web, if you get too close my little fly – he’s got you trapped. Say goodbye to an hour of your life, as he unleashes his list of things that annoy him. You know the one, they have a superhuman ability of never pausing long enough for you to politely make your excuse to retreat. Some changes now, will save you from becoming like Dave.
Working on your mindset is not only good for you, think of it as your kindness to the world. Imagine family reunions, nights at the pub and work functions where you are not having to skilfully plan a route to avoid Dave.
Of course, I am not saying don’t get passionate about things and spread the word, but a change in mindset could be the difference from being stuck in the problem, to becoming part of the solution.
2. Lacking gratitude
I’m not one for toxic positivity, some things you hear in yoga studios have just never sat well with me. Sometimes life is hard, so hard, and we need to be able to acknowledge that. I read one person’s perspective on this once (I am brutally paraphrasing this), one major cause of human suffering is that we think life should be easy. We are hurling around space on a planet that seems to constantly be trying to rid itself of us, so while life is a miracle, it’s not all rainbows.
So, yeah life can be shitty, but when we lack gratitude, we are missing a vital element that can help us through and recover from our inevitable challenges.
3. The “Why me?” Mindset
Can you hear that? I’m stamping all over those eggshells, not tiptoeing around them!
This is a big one, and I’m so sure we’ve all been there at some point. The tricky thing about someone in the ‘Why Me’ mindset, is this mindset has the perfect self-defence auto responses for any suggestions that that is where they are. ‘Why are you attacking me?”, “This crazy lady has no idea of my life or situation”, perhaps reading this far they may feel triggered and an internal switch has been flipped, turning “this is all quite interesting”, into “this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read”.
If this has hit a nerve with you, know firstly, I am on no high horse preaching this, I’ve been there, repeatedly, for me spending 10 days in a silent retreat, with only my thoughts, really highlighted how my thoughts were on repeat and there were many that could have fallen into this category.
No one is perfect, and as humans how bloody boring would life be if we were?!.
If you are stuck in a cycle of “Why do these things always happen to ME?”, if all disagreements or conflicts you encounter are someone else’s fault, if people are always rude to you, if it feels like you are drowning in negative situations, rather than they are coming in and out of your life like passing rain showers …. Let’s work on your mindset and honestly, it’s going to change your life.
HOW DO YOU CHANGE YOUR MINDSET?
I think that starting by injecting a simple gratitude practice into your day is one of the easiest places to start.
Inject some daily gratitude into your life
Add it onto an existing routine
This works really well at making it a habit. Maybe after (or during) brushing your teeth, bring to your mind one small thing you are grateful for
I normally finish a yoga session with bringing to my mind one little thing I am grateful for – and repeatedly since having my second bubba it hasn’t been him, but the coffee that I’m so damn grateful for!.
Journal
Of course, writing it down is an amazing way of increasing your gratitude – just write down one thing each day
Meal time
Want to get the whole family on board? Ask at night one thing everyone is grateful for from their day.
Accept your reality
This does not mean if things are currently bad for you, that you accept them as in giving in or up. This means that right now, this is your reality and we must learn to accept it that it is true.
Learning an acceptance for your reality, naturally opens us up to working with forgiveness and letting go. This is especially helpful if you are in a ‘Why Me’ mindset.
There are amazing meditations online (and I have some in the Online Studio) to guide you through this.
Journalling
How well do you know yourself? Writing down your thoughts, and starting to become aware of your thought process, is such a powerful tool to help transform your mindset.
Hands down, my favourite journaling exercise is one I was taught by the beautiful Alana from Emotive Art. It’s called the Artist pages. Every morning write 3 full pages. Try to stop yourself from editing them in your mind before you write. Don’t think about an audience (even yourself). You write everything that comes into your mind. Even when you are out of things to write – it may start looking like “I’ve run out of things to write”.
Watch what you Consume
This quote from an unknown source, sums this up better than I can
“Your diet is not only what you eat. It’s what you watch, what you listen to, what you read, the people you hang around…..be mindful of the things you put into your body emotionally, spiritually and physically”
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this post. Do reach out if you have any questions, or would like me to point you in the direction of more resources to help you on your Mindset Change journey.
Bec x